Closing The Door

We split up about one week ago
And my pain I let openly showed
But as he takes to the streets and wanders
I find absence does not make the heart grow fonder

As he goes about in his narcissistic way
Without thought of whether it's night or it's day
My pain and hurt he's removing all by himself
And any remaining love becomes as empty as the pantry shelf

I silently thank him for being gone
As I'm learning to sing a brand-new song
All my dreams that I put behind me
I'll revive one by one, just wait and see

It all finally ended late last night
With her in a cheap hotel fulfilling sexual rites
As his friends came to get his stuff I kept my cool
I wasn't about to slip into that kind of cesspool

I wonder if he realizes all feelings I ever had he's killed
He did without using any special talent or skill
Just that nonchalant manner he's mastered so well
Not even realizing that he's creating his own cell

I don't need to try to put him down
He's doing it alone, for that he deserves a crown
He'll realize I've done nothing to deserve any of this
And the blame is totally his

I've done nothing but take care of him all the time
Taking his moods and tempers as they turned on a dime
Occasionally I'd explode right back in his face
But it always filled me with such disgrace

I can't believe how I've lost sight of who I am
And all I ever stood for not worth a damn
I knew what I was doing, just didn't know why
Was it out of love or the inability to say good-bye

I wish I could remove the blinders from his sight
But he'll never truly see himself, although I guess he might
I guess that's why I allowed this change in myself
I see the person he is, that he's put upon the shelf

I can't imagine he's proud of himself or his actions
I wish I could depart knowledge of his various factions
Using women as pinch hitters is not doing him any good
It covers the opportunity to delve inside, as if he could

I have a tendency to cut off my nose in spite of my face
And I have to help others climb to a better place
I can see what he wants to be and actually is at times
And I wanted to see his face when he heard the bell chime

Now he's taken it all away, I don't even want to be his friend
And there's no telling where he'll end up in the end
I'm not saying there's no one else who can
But I thought I would lead him to be a better man

I've learned so much about myself during our time together
Some are for the worse and some are for the better
But given time I'll become better because of it
But he'll end up wearing the facade that fits

I'm no longer responsible to make him better
And I wonder if he'll ever climb out of the gutter
In that I failed but that's one pain I'll never pine
No longer will I throw my pearls before the swine

That's exactly what I find I've been doing
From now on, it's only his life he'll be screwing
Walking away is all that's left to do now
Though I'll continue to hope he'll change somehow

He's losing far more than I am
Although he knows, he's continuing the sham
I have given up all I ever owned of value for him
But his lies has caused that knowledge to dim

Until he can face these truths he'll never be able to change
And, unfortunately, his life he'll never rearrange
Though I tried my best, it wasn't good enough
All it ever amounted to was worthless bits of fluff

Divider

You are listening to Dark Side by Eddie and The Cruisers.
I have such an eclectic taste in music that it is hard for me
to pick just the right song but this one seems appropriate.
I really like the movie and the music but this site
is about my slip into the dark side!

All poetry presented here is original works of art written by me.
Please do not recreate any of them without expressed permission from me.
My inspiration was my pain and as such is quite personal.
It is my soul that is bared through these words.

Website created, designed and maintained by JO
Best viewed in Internet Explorer maximized at 800 by 600
© 1995 - 2007 Jo Trackler
All Rights Reserved

This site may be freely linked to but not duplicated in any fashion without my consent.